Meeting with The self proclaimed artist Chad from Wisconsin and his bed headed roommate Lars, both who are students at Parsons and whose tight ass pants revealed both their cash flow and their stage of puberty:
"Further out......wait a second....My friends told me that the further away from the city...the more...well...it's kinda Ghetto out there isn't it?"
"Listen, it does get a little ...Ethnic in some areas...But you guys have to understand that Brooklyn simply isn't how it used to be.....It's totally safe for you people now."
Chad looks at Lars with an expression of alarm. One of many skills that a native new yorker acquires is the ability to sense fear and at this moment i can smell the fear leaking out of this guy....it pollutes the air around us like a serious case of bad gas. I'm starting to get pissed off at this scared ass country boy. Something tells me that in a couple of weeks he's gonna be wearing a t-shirt that says "Brooklyn" on it. And when people ask him where he's from he is undoubtedly going to respond with his bony chest all puffed out and a little bass in his voice...."I'm from Brooklyn." This isn't intuition that speaks to me. This is experience. I feel the tension rising in the side of my neck. I must relax.... breathe...calm down.
"No worries fellas. (I smile) I do have a tiny studio apartment for $2600 on Monitor Street. That's quite a gorgeous neighborhood actually. and the building is brand new with giant windows, video intercom, private roof deck and a designer kitchen. You two could split that place and its only a short walk to Bedford Avenue."
He slaps Lars a jubilant high five. He turns towards me. I'm not smiling. Not amused at all.
"Well....yes lets go see this apartment Mr Dante. And then i have to make a call to mom and dad. I think Brooklyn and i are gonna be a perfect match after all. Isn't that right Lars?"
So there you have it. Yes it's true. I rent apartments to Hipsters. So what! I have recently come under much criticism here because people wonder why i would rent to individuals that i detest. Well.....A long time ago i decided that i would cash in on this unfortunate invasion of our urban culture. I have studied society enough to know that gentrification is a sad truth. It is bigger than you and i and Chad and all the people that we know. I figure that ,like a bad movie, it will be over eventually and rather than sit and complain i might as well sell tickets to the show. I also figure that i can attack this plague on two fronts. I can write about it here, expose these morons and expand peoples awareness. I can also have these Douche bags pay my rent and other bills. So you see in this way they can fuel the very fire that burns them. He he he.....So there it is. I do hate hipsters....And i LOVE New York.